I sometimes wonder if parents are aware of the “games” their children play on them from time to time.  Children play these mind games as a way of avoiding:

1. Listening to my parents
2. Having to do something I don’t want to do
3. Taking responsibility for something I did.

 When I ask them if they play these games, children are usually honest with me.  I usually tell them I’m doing a study on children and I’ve noticed kids do these things with their parents.  Which ones do you do the most?  I show them the list and then listen.

Some of the most common games children play are:

• “Huh?”
• “I don’t know”
• “I forgot”
• “I didn’t hear you”

 You might want to try it sometime.  Sit down with your kids and tell them you’ve heard children play some of these game with their parents.  Would they be willing to help you understand it a little better by letting you know which games they play with you.  After they tell you, be sure to thank them for being so honest and then ask them to help you understand the reasons behind their doing it.

If you say, :Why do you do that?”  be prepared for an “I don’t know.”  If, on the other hand, you ask them to explain it to you, they’ll be a lot more open to talking—they won’t be put on the defensive, which is what the question “why?” does to children.

Successful parents learn to listen to their children more often, instead of merely telling them what to do. Try it and let me know what happens, I’m always looking for new research material.