I don’t know how many parents have shared their feelings of frustration over their children’s disrespectful attitudes. I know Parents want their children to show respect. What is it that causes this behavior? What keeps parents from feeling successful in dealing with their children’s behaviors?
Parents do not talk respectfully to their children. They raise their voices, yell, scream and even call them names. When parents treat their children this way, they’re letting their kids know its all right to interact with others disrespectfully. Parents are the most powerful role models to their kids. Kids watch what their parents do and then do the same thing. They begin to think its ok to treat their parents the same way their parents treat them. Can you see how this type of thinking can build and build, creating problems between parents and their children?
Whenever a child shows a negative attitude and is allowed to get away with it, the child feels this is okay. Sure, mom or dad might be upset for awhile; it passes, until the next time. Successful parents usually realize a negative attitude is only the symptom of something else going on.
A child with a negative attitude is not a happy person. Ask yourself these questions:
- Is my child tired?
- Does my child need to eat?
- Have I asked what happened at school today? Perhaps the child had an experience that was upsetting and he or she doesn’t know how to deal with it.
Usually, when a child isn’t happy, there is a reason for it. Rather than get into an argument about the attitude, take a moment and acknowledge your child’s feelings.
You might say something like, “I notice you’re not in a very happy place right now. I wonder what’s going on with you that would cause it.” Then you stay quiet and wait for a reply. Listen and ask more questions to let your child know you’re really listening. If the child feels you’re listening and you’re not jumping in with advice and “shoulds”, you’ll find the conversation will continue.