Did any of you catch the Newsweek article last Fall, titled, “The Power of NO”? It addressed the problems today’s parents face with setting limits and providing appropriate discipline to children. Successful parenting styles place limits on children’s behaviors because these limits give children a sense of safety and security.
The article discussed the problems parents face with giving their children too much too soon. Families with 3- to 12-year olds spend $53.8 billion a year on entertainment, personal-care items and reading material for their children. This is $17.6 billion more than parents spent in 1997. That’s a lot of money!
Kids today want all the expensive brand-name products, which is in direct response to the waves of marketing that’s directed at them today. So they apply the pressure to their parents who usually put in long hours of work and come home, wanting peace and quiet. For some parents, it’s easier to say yes, than to suffer through the whining, nagging and begging.
The down side of this leads to the potential for children growing up as unhappy, irresponsible adults.
Children who are given too much too soon usually have problems dealing effectively with life’s ups and downs. Also, kids who have not been given responsibilities early in life such as daily chores, never learn an important lesson : “That every person can be of service to others and that has meaning beyond your own immediate happiness.”
According to Mary Pipher, best selling author of reviving Ophelia, children who have everything they want, “are set up to be narcissistic, spoiled, not inclined to work hard, and with impulse-control problems.
Peter Slovenski, co-author of Old School America, states, “if children get sucked into the cult of materialism, they miss out on the more inspiring lessons of life that are required for marriage, work and citizenship.”
Martin Seligman, psychologist at the
So what do you want a s a parent; some peace and quiet now or a child who grows up to be a respectful, responsible adult who’s fun to be around? What is you goal as a parent? This is what you want to focus on—what do I want for my child when he or she is an adult? If you want your child to be selfish, self-centered and coming to you for handouts, then by all means, keep giving into their demands.
If, on the other hand, you want the opposite, then congratulations on joining a small army of hopeful parents who want more for their children.
Even though today’s children seem to be born with an innate sense of entitlement, they need to learn the importance of being responsible. This can begin with simple chores for children as young as 2 years of age.
A conversation on chores will be covered in a future blog entry. If you’d really like to learn more about how you can place responsibility onto the shoulders f your little ones, instead of carrying the burden yourself, check out my web site at www.ParentSurvival911.com.