Well, I’m back to talk more about the brain stuff.  Remember the difference between the thinking part of the brain and the lizard part?  I talked about it 2 entries ago.

Every parent wants to feel successful; acting like a super nanny with his or her kids.  yet, every time you or anyone else becomes upset; raising your voice, getting hot under the collar and just plain angry, you are in the lizard part of your brain.  Have you ever seen a lizard sit down and have a rational, meaningful conversation?  Not!!  It’s in pure reactive mode when it becomes frightened.  No thinking, just survival, knee jerk reaction.  When you're in this place, you cannot be successful as a parent with your children.

Same thing happens to you , me and the kids.  Whenever we’re upset and we lose our cool, we have moved from the thin king part of our brain to the emotional, reactive, lizard part.  Nothing can get resolved or solved until we shift back into the thinking part of the brain.

So each time you lose your cool and get upset, you have moved into the lizard part of the brain and that’s why your kid wins the point!

This is the  thinking part of the brain – it can figure things out, solve problems, and stay calm

This is the lizard part of the brain—it doesn’t think—just reacts

                            

When that happens, take a time out from your kid!

Try something different like, “Wow! I’m in the lizard part of my brain right now.  When that happens, I can’t be there for you.  I love you too much to argue so I’m going into the other room for five minutes to cool down.”  Then, you say nothing more, turn around, and leave the room.

If your child tries to get you to talk by asking a question and you answer, you just lost a point.

Once you say you’re taking a time out and leaving, there is no more discussion!  Nada!

If you’re used to being rational with your child all the time, this could be a challenge for you.  Remember though, you’re doing this time out because you just lost your cool and your thinking ability.  Take your attention off your child for a second and place it on you.

To act like the awesome, super nanny of a parent that you, you MUST be in the thinking part of your brain.

Next time you get upset; see if you can do this.

To remind you, you might want to put words or pictures around the house to remind you—thinking or lizard.