|
|
Sunday, July 31
Successful Parenting: getting Your children to listen to you
by
ParentSurvival911
on Sun 31 Jul 2005 09:41 PM PDT
Have you ever felt frustrated because your children don’t listen to you? Would you like to know how to become more successful by getting them to listen to you without having to raise your voice? Here are some suggestions:
First of all, make sure you’re facing your child, looking at him or her in the eye. You also have to get your child to look at you. So if the computer is being used or the television is on, move your child away from other activities so you get direct eye contact.
Successful parenting happens when there’s a two-way communication happening.
The second thing you can do as a parent is to ask your child to repeat what you said simply and calmly saying, “What did you hear me say?” When your child tells you, you respond with a “Great listening!” comment ... more »
Saturday, July 30
Develop a Successful Parenting Plan for Children After Divorce
by
ParentSurvival911
on Sat 30 Jul 2005 02:07 PM PDT
Last Spring, the Today Show presented a segment on The Co-Parenting Survival Guide. This book advises parents on how to let go of conflict and do what's best for the kids. It was written by psychologists Elizabeth Thayer and Jeffrey Zimmerman. You can read an excerpt from the book by going to
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/7475814/
Going through a divorce is especially difficult when there are children. Successful parents are able to keep their negative feelings to themselves around the children so the children don't get caught up in the cross fire between their parents.
Children have enough feelings of insecurity when a family disrupts. They need to know their parents still love them. When they sense a parent is angry, they may think its at them even though it isn't. more »
Friday, July 29
A Book on Children and Divorce
by
ParentSurvival911
on Fri 29 Jul 2005 08:53 AM PDT
I found an interesting book on the Internet called, What Children Need to Know about Divorce. here's a description of it for you.
From trusted author and licensed family counselor William L. Coleman, comes practical help for children ages 6 to 12. Because it is often hard for children to express feelings, fears, and questions, it is easy to assume that they are adjusting and coping with their parents' divorce - when instead they may feel guilty that they are somehow to blame for the break-up. William L. Coleman provides an honest, understandable and simple way for concerned adults to broach discussion of this sensitive subject with the children they care about, covering such crucial areas as: The uniqueness and importance of each child; Reassurance of the continued love of both parents for the child; Encouragement to talk openly of painful subjects; and Ways to show love to both ... more »
Thursday, July 28
How Adult Children Experience Their Parent's Divorce
by
ParentSurvival911
on Thu 28 Jul 2005 08:37 AM PDT
I was surfing the web this morning with my first cup of coffee and found this blog, authored by Jen Abbass: http://generationexfiles.blogspot.com/
She wrote a book about adult children experiencing their parents’ divorce. She talked about an article she wrote about what step kids want yu to know. I liked it and wanted to pass it on for others to read and consider.
The article offers five "lessons the Brady Bunch didn't teach us:
1. We need time to adjust.
2. We need to know it's OK to grieve our loss.
3. We feel torn. Don's ask us to pick sides.
4. We need to feel like we have a say.
5. We need to know we're loved.
Good advice for all of us. more »
Wednesday, July 27
Successful Parent Tip for Dealing with Whining, Screaming Store Behaviors
by
ParentSurvival911
on Wed 27 Jul 2005 08:32 AM PDT
Have you as a parent, ever felt embarrassed or frustrated by your child’s behavior in a store? Your child wants you to buy something that’s not on your list and all your parenting skills are challenged by your child’s whining, screaming or temper tantrums? Perhaps during these times, you felt anything but successful and confident as a parent.
It’s difficult to know how to be a successful parent with today’s children. I remember my son putting me through such an experience when he was four years old. I wanted to crawl inside of my coat and disappear form all the eyes watching us in the store as he fell on the floor in a rage, screaming and kicking because I wouldn’t buy him a candy bar.
Somehow, I knew then there were very high stakes involved in terms of how I handled this situation. ... more »
Tuesday, July 26
Successful Parenting technique to Get Your Children to Listen to You
by
ParentSurvival911
on Tue 26 Jul 2005 08:24 AM PDT
Would you like your children to listen to you and treat you respectfully, the way the kids treat Jo Frost on the Supernanny Television show? Well, you can change your parenting style if you’re open to learning new tricks. Successful parenting doesn’t just happen—it’s something you usually learn. You too can act like a super nanny—you just need some ideas and reassurance.
That’s where I come in. I’m using this blog to share information with families I work with and parents who are looking for help in creative problem solving ideas with their children.
So what’s your biggest complaint about your children’s behaviors? Log in and write your questions and comments to this blog so we can get some communicating back and forth happening.
The reason why kids like playing games is because they get immediate feedback that’s full of whistles and ... more »
Monday, July 25
Parents: Helping Your Child Cope with Divorce
by
ParentSurvival911
on Mon 25 Jul 2005 08:18 AM PDT
Children, just like their parents, cope with divorce and separation of their parents in different ways. There are some great web sites out there available to you if you’re interested in being a more successful parent in helping your child cope with divorce.
One of these sites is offered by www.Divorceinfo.com Click on your control button and this link for tips on Basic Pointers: Basic Pointers
This information will help you strengthen your parenting style in dealing with passive aggressive behavior and discipline. Another link you might want to check out is called “Children of Divorce Speak Out”
http://www.divorcewizards.com/childrenofdivorce.html
Until my next entry, I wish you successful parenting. more »
Sunday, July 24
How Children Help Us Improve Our Parenting Style
by
ParentSurvival911
on Sun 24 Jul 2005 08:13 AM PDT
Want to know what I love about being a parent? If I goof up and “blow it”, I know my son is going to give me more opportunities to practice parenting differently. Many of us could improve our parenting styles and become more successful parents if we stopped to watch our children’s behaviors from a different angle.
No, I don’t mean looking at them sideways or upside down! I believe children are one of the karmic ways we get paid back for our "choices" of the past. How is that so, you might ask. I have an exercise for you to do. to help you become more aware of your parenting style.
1. Take out a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page.
2. On the left side of the sheet, write down a ... more »
Saturday, July 23
How to Improve Your Parenting Style: What motivates children to change?
by
ParentSurvival911
on Sat 23 Jul 2005 08:08 AM PDT
When you look at your parenting style, are you one to find the negatives about your child and comment on those more than you do the positives? Do you use harsh words and issues orders instead of giving choices? If this is true for you, do you also feel stressed as a parent? Parenthood is not an easy thing to do these days.
Jo Frost works well as a Supernanny because she speaks calmly and clearly and you always know she’s in charge. The kids know it as well. To be successful as a parent today, you have to know what motivates children the most.
Do your kids like to play computer or electronic games? Can they do it for hours? Want to know why?
- These games have structure and limits
- They give instant feedback
- You can move forward in the ... more »
Friday, July 22
Parenting Your Child Like a Super Nanny: Getting chores done
by
ParentSurvival911
on Fri 22 Jul 2005 08:01 AM PDT
A comment I made in an earlier blog entry touched upon the importance of children doing chores, regardless of their age or circumstances. Jo Frost, TV's well known supernanny, is a great role model of a successful parent—she’s clear, consistent and usually calm. She’s in control and not the children. You want your parenting style to be like that of a super nanny, where your children are respectful, responsible and fun to be around, don’t you? Or am I speaking to the wrong crowd!
Of course you do and one of the ways you can do this is by having your children do chores. Why? Because they are a member of a family and need to learn it is important to help out with family chores and duties. If mom and dad wait on the kids all the time and don’t have the kids ... more »
Thursday, July 21
How Your Parenting Style Can Affect Your Child's Self Esteem
by
ParentSurvival911
on Thu 21 Jul 2005 07:54 AM PDT
Remember my entry about paradigm shifts? I have another one for you today that could affect how you discipline your children; how you deal with passive aggressive behaviors, and what type of parenting style you use.
The average human body is 70% water. Modern researchers have shown that the condition of the mind directly affects the body. Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto discovered that molecules of water are affected by our thoughts, words and feelings.
Dr Emoto developed a technique using a very powerful microscope in a cold room along with high speed photography to photograph newly formed crystals of frozen water samples. What he found was that when water was exposed to positive expressions like, “Let’s do it!” it created attractive, well-formed crystals. When water was exposed to negative expressions like “Do it!” it barely formed any crystals at all.
Thanks ... more »
Wednesday, July 20
Successful Parenting When There's Been a Divorce
by
ParentSurvival911
on Wed 20 Jul 2005 07:50 AM PDT
Sometimes children’s behaviors can get a bit “testy”
around their parents when they’ve gone through emotional changes involved with parents splitting up and getting divorced. When parents are feeling their own levels of anger, frustration and disappointments, they may not be aware of how that affects their children. Successful parenting happens as a result of your listening to your children and having them involved in the problem solving issues with you—instead of you telling them what they need to do.
Kids today don’t react well when we order them and tell them what to do with an authoritarian voice. They will respond much better when given choices. Let’s say you want your child to pick up his room. You’re tired of the constant nagging which leads to both of you getting upset. That is NOT a win-win situation.
So here’s the deal.... more »
Tuesday, July 19
Parenting Styles: Bringing out the super nanny in you
by
ParentSurvival911
on Tue 19 Jul 2005 07:39 AM PDT
Because parents have a deeply felt effect on their children’s emotional, social and mental growth, their parenting styles in dealing with discipline and problem solving can either help or hinder the development of respectful, responsible and fun to be around children.
I believe each parent has the ability to act like a super nanny with children; to become more consistent about setting limits, saying “no” and meaning it, and making children responsible for their choices, regardless of what that may look like. How do you bring this super nanny part of you out more?
One way is to remember that your child (like You) has different parts. No, I’m not talking about multiple personalities here. Bear with me---look at yourself for example. You probably have a sleeping part that loves to sleep in on the weekends. You may have
Other parts such as:... more »
Monday, July 18
Parenting Style: The power of setting limits with children
by
ParentSurvival911
on Mon 18 Jul 2005 07:35 AM PDT
Did any of you catch the Newsweek article last Fall, titled, “The Power of NO”? It addressed the problems today’s parents face with setting limits and providing appropriate discipline to children. Successful parenting styles place limits on children’s behaviors because these limits give children a sense of safety and security.
The article discussed the problems parents face with giving their children too much too soon. Families with 3- to 12-year olds spend $53.8 billion a year on entertainment, personal-care items and reading material for their children. This is $17.6 billion more than parents spent in 1997. That’s a lot of money!
Kids today want all the expensive brand-name products, which is in direct response to the waves of marketing that’s directed at them today. So they apply the pressure to their parents who usually put in long hours of work and come ... more »
Sunday, July 17
Your Parenting Style: Clues about successful parenting
by
ParentSurvival911
on Sun 17 Jul 2005 03:40 PM PDT
Well, I’m back to talk more about the brain stuff. Remember the difference between the thinking part of the brain and the lizard part? I talked about it 2 entries ago.
Every parent wants to feel successful; acting like a super nanny with his or her kids. yet, every time you or anyone else becomes upset; raising your voice, getting hot under the collar and just plain angry, you are in the lizard part of your brain. Have you ever seen a lizard sit down and have a rational, meaningful conversation? Not!! It’s in pure reactive mode when it becomes frightened. No thinking, just survival, knee jerk reaction. When you're in this place, you cannot be successful as a parent with your children.
Same thing happens to you , me and the ... more »
Saturday, July 16
Successful Parenting: Playing the "Point System"
by
ParentSurvival911
on Sat 16 Jul 2005 03:12 PM PDT
I’m always amazed at the creativity of children’s minds when it comes to “playing“ their parents or other care givers. They play so emotional mind games on the adults who don’t even have a clue as to what’s going on. Remember when I talked about the importance of giving children choices instead of ordering them to do something?
Well, if you ignore this message of caution, your children will react to you in some passive aggressive way that you may not even notice. It doesn’t matter—for they notice it and they score a point.
Oh, didn’t I tell you about the point system?
Children and parents play this game (Usually unconsciously) where they work at getting the most points. Each time a child gets a parent upset, the child wins a point. Each ... more »
Friday, July 15
Would You Like Your Parenting Style to Look Like that of a Super Nanny?
by
ParentSurvival911
on Fri 15 Jul 2005 03:03 PM PDT
Did you know that the Supernanny show had over 17,000 hits on the Internet search engines during the month of May? That’s a lot of people looking for information about parenting. Why? Because we all need help with our kids today. Do you have kids who treat you like a live in maid and act like you’re invisible; they don’t hear you and certainly don’t look at you when you speak?
Or worse, what about having to deal with passive aggressive behavior? You ask Suzy Q to put the dishes away and she takes forever and a day to do it. Or, she does most of her job and leaves one or two things out, thinking you won’t notice. Fortunately for her, most parents don’t notice—they’re so busy trying to get ... more »
|
