Here are some suggestions to hopefully help your young child learn from mistakes without feelings ashamed by them.

1.  If your child is having a major meltdown, hold your child and calmly tell  her you're going to keep the child safe until  she is back in control.

2.  Give your child chances to calm herself down through hugging, quiet sitting or time outs.  Be calm in how to speak to your child; keeping her in the thinking part of her brain, instead of the lizard part.

3.  Know what triggers get your child upset or in trouble.  Remove as many as you can.  if the child is beginning to get upset, intervene immediately so it doesn't get worse.  Your child's behavior is telling you she's frustrated and doesn't have the words to express it.  Give her a hug and say, Thanks for letting me know you're upset."