I’m always amazed at the creativity of children’s minds when it comes to “playing“ their parents or other care givers.  They play so emotional mind games on the adults who don’t even have a clue as to what’s going on.  Remember when I talked about the importance of giving children choices instead of ordering them to do something?

Well, if you ignore this message of caution, your children will react to you in some passive aggressive way that you may not even notice.  It doesn’t matter—for they notice it and they score a point.

Oh, didn’t I tell you about the point system?

Children and parents play this game (Usually unconsciously) where they work at getting the most points.  Each time a child gets a parent upset, the child wins a point.  Each time an adult remains calm and gets the child to respond in a positive way, the adult gets the point.  Some of you may be asking yourself, “So what?  What does this have to do with the price of tea in China?

Read on….Most parents haven’t been trained to react to children like a super nanny—that comes with practice and discipline.  So when your child aggravates you and you get upset, you have basically said to your child (nonverbally), “You are so much stronger than I am today.  Look at how I let you push my buttons.”

Because the child is stronger than you are, the child wins the point.  When a child keeps winning the points, the child will sometimes act out even more often, in an attempt to get the parent to put his or her foot down and set some limits, taking back their power over the child.

So how does a parent start winning the points?

You could visit www.parentsurvival911.com and find out how to get a free   Parent’s Awareness Guide to dealing with Angry Children for starters.

You can also email me and ask for a free copy of

Games Children Play.

MaryLynne@ParentSurvival911.com