Did you know that the Supernanny show had over 17,000 hits on the Internet search engines during the month of May? That’s a lot of people looking for information about parenting. Why? Because we all need help with our kids today. Do you have kids who treat you like a live in maid and act like you’re invisible; they don’t hear you and certainly don’t look at you when you speak?
Or worse, what about having to deal with passive aggressive behavior? You ask Suzy Q to put the dishes away and she takes forever and a day to do it. Or, she does most of her job and leaves one or two things out, thinking you won’t notice. Fortunately for her, most parents don’t notice—they’re so busy trying to get everything done by then end of the day; who has time to check on chores? Does this sound familiar? Read on…
Did you know happy children usually do their chores? They don’t argue and they have positive attitudes? Would you like to know why? it all has to do with their brains and what part of their brain they’re using.
When we’re happy, we’re usually using the front part of our brain that’s located behind our forehead. I call this the “thinking part” of the brain. Because it’s not cluttered up with emotions, it has the ability to think rationally and solve problems. This “thinking part” doesn’t have temper tantrums, yell, scream or bring about nasty sarcastic comments from the mouth. Nope, instead, it’s pretty even tempered and able to follow directions without getting upset.
So…if you have children who don’t act like this, you probably have children who aren’t happy. When they get upset, they are in the “emotional part” of their brain that doesn’t think—it merely reacts. I like to call this the “lizard part” of the brain. Kids can really relate to this concept.
When a child argues, throws a temper tantrum, yells, hits or kicks and is emotionally explosive, you have a child who has lost all use of the” thinking part” of the brain. The child is all caught up in emotions and can’t think—that’s why he or she usually acts like a toddler when upset, instead of their physical sage. Think about it. Doesn’t this make sense to you?
If it does, then the next time your darling angel becomes upset, don’t waste your breath talking to him or her, trying to figure out why they did something. They are not going to be able to tell you why until they calm down and get back into the thinking part of their brain.
Take some time when your child is calm and reasonable to explain this concept to him or her. Then, when the child becomes upset, you could calmly ask,
- “What part of your brain are you in?”
- “How’s that working for you?”
- “What do you need to do to get into the thinking part of your brain?”