This is a different version of the miracle question, you say, "if we could wave a magic wand and everything was wonderful and terrific, how would you know when you get there and things are resolved and how would other people, if they were following you around with a videocamer know that it's all resolved?" This helps get an idea of where the client is and where they want to be. (O'Hanlon, 1993)
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If you're at your wits end and don 't know what to do with your child, ask, "If I had a magic wand, and could grant three wishes, what would their three wishes be?" The answers supply a wealth of information and set-up a number of related questions. Children love to talk about themselves and their lives.  if we slow down and listen, they have all the information we need to become better parents to them.
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Dr. Selekman gets credit for this fun game the whole family can do together.  This game is useful with young children who have difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings with family members. The following are the steps:

1. Child selects family member to draw a swiggle on a piece of paper;
2. You ask child to create a picture out of the swiggle;
3. You ask child to tell a story about the swiggle to the family;
4. Child draws a swiggle;
5. Family create a picture out of the swiggle;
6. Family tell a story about the swiggle to child (Selekman, 2002)

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To help your children with you while shopping, tell them ahead if time, you're going to play a game called "go and stop".

When everything is not working. Hold your child's hand to control your child's pace. Say, "Go" and start walking very fast in the mall. Then say, "stop" and stop (it is usually a squeal). Then say "Go" and so on. The child will soon be having so much fun to forget about what was happening before. You will likely get some choice looks from customers (smile back).   more »

This is a great idea to use with children when getting ready to leave a store or shopping mall.

The Fun Train
This continues to work 95 per cent of the time. When it is time to leave, I say, "time to go to the fun train (which is our vehicle) . . . all aboard." I'll call the children by name and we walk behind each other, "choo-chooing" to the fun train. My five year old told me that I am the conductor and we now need pretend tickets for the fun train. I'll usually only need to announce boarding twice before the little patter of feet are chugging along.

This idea came from a therapeutic child web site.   more »

Psychologists Myrow and Myrow (2002) came up with another engaement activity called Pushing My Buttons.  The parent and child are sitting close to each other when the parent says, "What will happen when I push this button?"  The adult gently presses some part of the child's body and makes a noise.  it might look like this:

Press the nose and make a "honk" sound

Press the shoulder and make a "bleep" sound

Press the ear and make a "clucking" sound.

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Bear Hug

If your child has a small stuffed teddy bear or other animal, getit and hug it close.  Then, hand it to your child to see if he or she hugs it.  Ask for the animal back; give it another hug, and return it.  End this simple game with a hug for your child and stuffed animal together.

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Another way to create positive interactions with your children is to build or create something together.  Perhaps you could use nuts and bolts, screws and screwdrivers with a peice of wood to create something fun together.  For the cooks out there, have your child help you make something from a mix such as cake, brownies, cookies, muffins, etc.  have the child help with pouring and stirring.  make it a fun activity whereby you know you are helping your child feel better about himself or herself because you're giving the child your full attention.

The child will also practice eye-hand coordination, linear thinking and patience.

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Interacting with your child in positive ways is an important part of parenting.  It doesn'nt take a great deal of time and brings back great rewards to you andyour child.  It was developed by Theraplay experts Jernberg & Booth in 1999.

Playfully check your child's body parts to see if they are hot, cold, hard or soft.  This is especially good with a younf child and an older child who's feeling emotionally distant or unattached.  Have fun!

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This activity originated from psychologists Myrow & Myrow in 2002.  The parent sits down facing the child and fills own cheeks with air.  Then, the parent guides the child's hands to the parent's face to push gently on the adult's cheeks with the fingers to pop out the air.  Then, encourage the child to fill his or her own cheeks with air and the parent then pops the air out.   more »

Regardless of the age or sex of the child, this is a great activity to have positive interactions between parent and child.  Today's kids know a lot more movements and songs than I did when growing up.  You're also helping your brains to function more effectively because you're using both hemispheres of the brain at the same time.  So grab your kid, sit down and have some fun.  You probably need it more than he or she does.   more »

Another engaing activity takes place betweenyou and your child and a small ball.  Get on the floor on your stomach, facing your child, roll the ball over to your child with your hands.  Have the child roll it back.  Then, see if you both can do it with one finger, then your hand clenched up, then your chin, if you can.  Younger children like this one.  if you have an older child, you can go outside and play "catch" with a ball.

It doesn't take a lot of time to have quality time with your child.  A mere five minutes can do wonders in terms of letting the child know he or she is important enough for you to give them your undivided attention.

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This is a great activity to do when the kids get home from school or after dinner.  Sit down with your child in a quiet and comfortable place and have a "pretend" microphoine to speak into.  Tell them you're a reporter doing a story about their day.  Then, ask questions such as their favorite food, animal, color, etc.

This helps you engage with them in a positive way and they can give you some information you could use at a later time.  Have fun!  remember, it's not the quantiy of time you spend with your kids that counts; it's the quality of time.

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One of the things I love about children is their spontaneity.  The younger the child, the more of it you see.  They havn't shut down yet, thinking it's weird to act silly in public.  If you watch children do this, they're having fun!   Okay, so you're not willing to look silly in public; how about with your kids in the car?  Take truns making silly faces in the car, copying one another and having some fun.  Maybe you could even give the faces special names and use them again when your child least expects it.

The more you lighten up as a parent and begin having fun, letting your little kid within pop out to play, the more fun  you'll have with your children.  It's definitely a win-win for everyone.

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This is a good activity if your child is really revved up and hyperactive.  Tell him or her it's time to move like a turtle.  How well can they move slowly?  Then you lead the way and have your child join you.  Perhaps you could fold laundry slowly together, or set the table or dance to music.  make sure you're smiling and having fun.   more »

Engagement activities are those the parent initiates to have some fun time with the children.  For younger children, the face blows task is a fun one.  The parent can tell the child its time for fun blows and then blow softly into the child;s hair.  Then, the child does it.  You can blow on the face as well, having fun and smiling together.  This gives your child a chance to see you as being fun to be around.   more »

Talk and Rock

This is a good after school activity between parent and child.  Both of you are sitting on the floor, facing each other, with your legs like a "v".  You're holding hands.  gently, rock back and forth, front to back while the parent asks questions about the child's day.  Maintain a slow rythmn and quiet, calm tone and see what happens.  This is also a nurturing and structuring activity as well.

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Marshmallow Fight

This is a great way to deal with an angry child.  Get a bag of large marshmallows and surpise your child by throwing some of them at him or her.  Usually, a child will pick them up and throw them back at you with a smiling face.  Its a great way to burn off angry feelings and have fun at the same time.

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Maintaining Eye Contact

If you have a positive interaction with your child, it increases the chances for healthy attachment.  Make a game of it by having you and your child standing across the room from each other.  You count slowly to five.  If your child maintains ete contact that whole time, he or she gets to walk toward you by taking two steps. If your child has trouble maintaining eye contact, use the blinking method.  When you blink once, the child can take another step; if you blink twice, the child can take two steps foward.

 

The game ends when the child reaches you.  You can end it with lots of pizzaz and a hug for doing such a great job of looking you in the eye.

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Mirroring Activity

Stand or sit facing your child.  The parent begins by making a face and then having the child copy it; acting as a mirror.  Do this a few times, and then let your child lead.  You can then move your torse, arms, legs, etc.

Bear Hug

If your child has a small stuffed teddy bear or other animal, getit and hug it close.  Then, hand it to your child to see if he or she hugs it.  Ask for the animal back; give it another hug, and return it.  End this simple game with a hug for your child and stuffed animal together.

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