A common myth parents often have happens because they tried a new reaction to a negative behavior by their children.  They think if the behaviors become worse, the new parenting technique failed.  Actually, the exact opposite is true.

If you change your parenting technique to react differently to your child's negative behaviors and your child's behavior immediately gets worse, the technique is probably working!  Don't stop, keep doing what you're doing and the behaviors will eventually subside (if you're being consistent).

Children's behaviors become worse because they don't take you seriously when you do something different.  Also, you've changed the rules of the game without letting them know and they're caught off guard.  They will do anything to break you down so you go back to the old way of doing things--which doesn't get them to change their behaviors.

When your child immediately becomes worse, pat yourself on the ...   more »

When your child treats you disrespectfully, how does that make you feel?  Do you want it to contin ue?  if not, think about m aking some changes iin how you relate to your child.

First of all, you are the parent and should be the one in  control, not the child.  If your child upsets you, you've given control over to your child.  In order to get it back, place the units of concern on your child by using natural consequences.

For every disrespectful statement coming out of your child's moputh, tell him or her she's just let you know he or she wants to do an extra chore to help you around the house.  Then, give a choice between 2 chores and then give a choice between two times they can do it.  The next time your child wants you to do something for him or her, smile ...   more »

What do you do when your child becomes disrespectful?

All of the actions listed below will guarantee your child not learning the value of a consequence:

1.  Say, "This will teach you a lesson."

2.  Become angry and scold the chil;d.

3.  Moralize or threaten.

4.  Talk too much.

Children usually hear you the first time.  Instead of getting angry, ask your child how he or she wants to pay you back for the disrespectful behavior.  After all, it's very draining to listen to the negative words.  Your child needs to do soomething nice for you to put the energy back that was drained.  More about this iin the next blog entry.

Parenting Ideas for dealing wiht the child who frequently comes home late: 

Thank your child for letting you know he’s not big enough and strong enough to come home on time yet.  1