Do you have a child who tells you he or she has done a chore and when you check on it, you find it hasn't been done?  or better yet, do you even check their chores?  I would.  It lets the child know you care.

I had a 10 year old who had a laminated chore chart.  All the chores she had to do each day were neatly marked on the chart so they could be marked off daily.  At the end of the week, we'd wipe off the chart and begin a new week.  After six weeks, she still had not done one of her chores which was sweeping the patio outside the kitchen.

 

A normal response might be to lecture her and punish her with a consequence.  if I did that, she's just sulk away into her room, getting angry at me, instead of looking at her ...   more »

For parents wanting to improve their relationships with children and help them increase their vocabulary, I've listed a few suggestions for you to enjoy with your child.

1.  Order a magazine subscription for your child and read it together.

2.  Mail your child a note.  When it arrives, read it to him or her.

3.  Sing songs to gether, especially when driving in the car.

4.  Post a happy note on your child's door.

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The entry posted before this one discusses why touch is imprortant for all children, regardless of age.  here are some ideas to increase touch between parent and child in nurturing ways:

1.  Hold and cuddle your child every day.

2.  Tuck your child in at night with a hug and kiss good night.

3.  Hold hands while walking.

4.  Play a clapping game.

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Being touched in a loving, positive way is a primary need for all of us, not just children.  However, it's very important for young children to be touched in affectionate ways to help them develop as healthy human beings.  Touch is extremely important for emotional attachment between parent and child.  When you're upset or angry at your child, take some time to chill out and cool down.  Then, bring your child in close to you and find some way to touch him or her in a loving way.  here are some ideas on how to touch your child in a nurturing way.

1.  Put some hand lotion on your chld's hands and rub  it in.

2.  Scratch your child's back.

3.  Give your child a back rub or foot rub.

4.  Give butterfly kisses--fluttering your eyelashes on child's cheek.

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You've just asked or told your child to do something he doesn't want to do.  he looks at you with angry eyes and says, "Its not fair!"  Or your daughter wants to do something and you won't let her do it.  She gets huffy and says in a loud voice, "That's not fair!"

How do you respond?  CALMLY.

You do NOT want to get into an argument or discussion defending your position to your child.  After all, you ARE the parent; you have a right to be in charge; especially when you're dealing with young children and those acting like young children.  Children who say this to their parenbts are merely working at manipulating the situation so they get their way.

I suggest looking at your child calmly and quietly saying noithing else except, "I know."  If your child continues to explain why this is upsetting, you continue saying, "I ...   more »

You notice your child is whining about most everything.  Nothing seems to appease him or her.  You find yourself becoming irritated by the behavior.  Walk up to your child gently touch his ir her shoulder and gently say, "Thanks for letting me know you're tired.  I think it's time for you to go to your room and lie down for a rest for 30 minutes.  Then, when you get up, I bet you won't be so whining."  Then you can calmly walk the child to the bed.  if arguing begins, simply say, "I love you too much to argue."   more »

Sheila Anderson published an article on the Internet titled,  "Teach the Alphabet:  8 Fun Tips to Teach Your Child the Alphabet".  I think you'll enjoy it if you have young children.  She also has a link to her site where she offers free printable materials for parents to use inhelping their children learn the alphabet.   more »

Diane Mascle wrote an article on the importance of preparing your young child to read.  It's called "Preparing Your Child Cognitively to Read."  If you have young children, you may find it useful readinbg.   more »

Tony Schutta, parenting coach wrote a good article on dealing with defiant children.  I found the article on the internet and wanted to share it with you.  It's simple , easy to understand and numbered, making it easier to read.  Here are the first three ideas.  You can go to the link to find out the other 6 ideas.

1. Use positive communication. Try phrasing your parenting command in a positive way versus a negative way. For example, if your child says “Can I watch TV now?” instead of just saying, “No. You can’t.” you could say “You can watch TV after dinner.” Or “I can tape this show for you to watch after dinner.”

2. Give the child two choices. As a parent you can pick two choices that are equally acceptable to you and offer them to your child. The child is less likely to be oppositional if ...   more »

Susan Newman, PhD, author of several parenting books, had a good article on the net titled, "Learning to Say No".  In it she gives a questinnaire to see if you're a "yes" mom instead of one who always gives in to children's demands.  You can read the rest of the article by clicking on the link.

Are You a Yes-Mom?

If three of these sounds vaguely like you, it’s likely that your children turn you into a yes-person quite easily. It’s time to take stock and learn how to say no.

1. Your living room looks like a toy store.
2. At any given hour the couch doubles as a trampoline, a wrestling mat, a hiding place or arts and crafts center.
3. Your child wears his Halloween costume to school in February.
4. You’re on a first-name basis with the workers at McDonald’s.
5. Your child has everything her best friend has.
6. Your ...   more »

Jan Hunt shares more of her parenting insights in this article.  She gives ten reasons for not hitting your kids.  read it and see what you think.   more »

Jan Hunt has written a vairiety of articles about parenting.  I found this one titled, "A New Way of Seeing Children", to be very inciteful, especially the last paragragh which reads,

"As Rick Lahrson, Director of the Portland, Oregon Kids Project, once wrote, 'Misbehavior in children is an attempt to communicate, when all else has failed. Children have a drive to love other people and to be a contribution to the people around them. It is time for all children to be recognized as the magnificent people they are, and accorded the dignity and respect that is due every human being. We must establish a new way of seeing children.'"

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Lori Radun posted an article on the internet dealing with sibling rivalry.  Here are some of the suggestions she offerred.  Go to the link and read the rest of her ideas.

..."the most significant factor that affects sibling rivalry is parental attitude. As parents, we know we should treat our children equally and fairly. And most of us probably try very hard to do that, however inconsistencies will still exist. There may be a child you get along better with because of your personalities. Perhaps one or more of your children are easier to handle so they have a tendency to receive more loving treatment from you. Children pick up on every bit of inconsistency and they don't always understand why things are different for each child. Older age children have more responsibilities, but more independence. A younger child just thinks it is unfair that she has to go to ...   more »

Although parenting professionals have advocated for strict discipline and punishment, for parents to control their children, they don't tell you how your children respond to this type of interaction.  How do you feel as a parent and adult when someone tries to control you.  That someone may be insensitive to your feelings and doesn't respect you as a person.  That's exactly how children feel.  Thomas Gordon, founder of the Parent Effectiveness Training wrote a list of children's reactions.  I want to share them with you today.

Resisting, defying, being negative Rebelling, disobeying, being insubordinate, sassing Retaliating, striking back, counterattacking, vandalizing Hitting, being belligerent, combative Breaking rules and laws Throwing temper tantrums, getting angry Lying, deceiving, hiding the truth Blaming others, tattling, telling on others Bossing or bullying others Banding together, forming alliances, organizing against the adult Apple-polishing, buttering up, soft-soaping, bootlicking, currying favor with adults Withdrawing, fantasizing, daydreaming Competing, needing ...   more » Comments (1)  |  Permanent Link  |  Cosmos Tuesday, January 10   The seven keys to Child Obedience by ParentSurvival911 on Tue 10 Jan 2006 03:52 PM PST Anthony Kane, MD wrote an article  called The Seven Keys to Child Obedience.  Its easy to read and understand.  I hope you'll take the time to read it.   more » Leave Comment  |  Permanent Link  |  Cosmos Thursday, January 5   Bed Time Rituals: 8 Ways to End Bed Time Battles by ParentSurvival911 on Thu 05 Jan 2006 01:52 PM PST I found a simple, easy to read article on how to deal with bed time battles from i Village.  It's written for parents of younf children.   more » Leave Comment  |  Permanent Link  |  Cosmos Wednesday, January 4   Children and Television by ParentSurvival911 on Wed 04 Jan 2006 01:36 PM PST I found a great article about children and television I wanted to share with you.  It's published on the Center for Effective Parenting web site.  It discusses things children see on TV today, some of the effects of watching TV, and what parents can do about it.  Enjoy!   more » Leave Comment  |  Permanent Link  |  Cosmos Sunday, January 1   How Parents Can Communicate More Effectively with Each Other by ParentSurvival911 on Sun 01 Jan 2006 01:41 PM PST The Center for Effective Parenting has a great article for parents  called, "Parental Communication."  It has some great ideas on how not to talk to each other as well as ways to improve your communication with each other. The more parents can communicate effectivel;y, the more peace you feel in the home.  The more peace in the home, the better the children behave.    more » Leave Comment  |  Permanent Link  |  Cosmos Saturday, December 31   Happy New Year! by ParentSurvival911 on Sat 31 Dec 2005 08:11 AM PST I want to wish you andyour families a happy new year. MaryLynne    more » Leave Comment  |  Permanent Link  |  Cosmos Wednesday, December 28   Discipline Guidelines for Three Year Olds by ParentSurvival911 on Wed 28 Dec 2005 08:48 AM PST Here are some suggestions to hopefully help your young child learn from mistakes without feelings ashamed by them. 1.  If your child is having a major meltdown, hold your child and calmly tell  her you're going to keep the child safe until  she is back in control. 2.  Give your child chances to calm herself down through hugging, quiet sitting or time outs.  Be calm in how to speak to your child; keeping her in the thinking part of her brain, instead of the lizard part. 3.  Know what triggers get your child upset or in trouble.  Remove as many as you can.  if the child is beginning to get upset, intervene immediately so it doesn't get worse.  Your child's behavior is telling you she's frustrated and doesn't have the words to express it.  Give her a hug and say, Thanks for letting me know you're upset."    more » Comments (5)  |  Permanent Link  |  Cosmos